I grew up in rural northeast Georgia, along the red clay banks of the Chattahoochee River and Lake Lanier, at the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains.

Growing up in that region, there were many colorful expressions one heard to describe what I later learned was more formally defined as the word resilience. I remember mama, daddy, aunts, uncles, and granny describing those family and friends who lived in the country and mountains as “tough as nails” or “strong as an oak.” And when there were family and friends who were struggling with difficult and dark times, the adults would say “They can weather any storm”, “they bounce back like a rubber band”, “they’ve got grit and gumption”, or “they don’t let the world get ‘em down, no matter what.” When southerner’s say someone’s “touch as rawhide,” it is with deep respect – they worked hard, weathered the worst that life throws at them, and kept going on.

These southern or Appalachian sayings all point to resilience, and I’m sure every location and culture has some version of these similar sayings.

Those weren’t just sayings—they were a standard.

Keep going.
Don’t complain.
Push through.

That’s what resilience meant.

Most of us were taught the same version:

Resilience = endurance.

Take the hit.
Absorb the pressure.
Keep moving no matter what.

But here’s the problem:

That version of resilience, while it sounds good on the surface, can be limiting and quietly teaches you to disconnect from yourself.

You stop asking:

And instead, you just… survive. But there’s much more to being truly resilient than just enduring and surviving.

In positive psychology, resilience is defined as:

The ability to bounce back from adversity and maintain well-being.

That’s a step forward—but still incomplete.

Because “bouncing back” implies returning to who you were before.

And if you’ve been through real disruption—
career loss, reinvention, starting over—

Sometimes there is no going back but only going forward and writing a new chapter to your story

My perspective on resilience didn’t come from where I started.

It came later—around 2015/2016—when I was introduced to the scientific research and work of Dr. Brené Brown and Dr. Todd Kashdan through organizational well-being work and my undergraduate and graduate studies in psychology.

That experience changed everything.

Because I realized:

Resilience isn’t about just enduring.
It’s about adaptation.

And more than that—

It’s about how you interpret what you’re going through.

Research shows something simple but powerful:

People who approach problems with curiosity are more likely to move forward.

Why?

Because most people unconsciously treat challenges as:

But resilient people?

They ask different questions:

As my friends will tell you, I love quoting movies and television shows. My favorite quote from the movie Steel Magnolias captures this shift in perspective for resilience perfectly:

That’s resilience—not because it denies pain—

But because it transforms the relationship to it.

In the next newsletter, I’m going to introduce you to the framework I use with clients and in my own life:

ARC — Adaptability, Resilience, Curiosity and Creativity

Because resilience alone isn’t enough.

It’s how these elements work together that allows you to:

Where in your life have you been enduring…
when what you really need is to start interpreting differently?