What does your father do for a living? Tell me about yourself. Questions like these open the door for us to share our stories. Each of you have a story, and your story matters. It is a central part of who you are. Researchers refer to our ‘hero story or journey.’ The Hero Story has a common template where the hero goes on an adventure, encounters a decisive crisis, realizes victory over the crisis, and returns home transformed in some positive way. We all have our hero stories that contribute to our core values and equip us with the tools and resources to face life’s challenges, overcome them, and thrive. The story I want to share with you today, is one of me facing shame and embarrassment, overcoming the shame, and building my shame resilience so that I may return home transformed and able to thrive.
I am the son of a chicken catcher. It took me a long time to be able to say those words out loud without embarrassment. But it is a major part of my story, and it matters. It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I was able to come to terms with that part of my story, and it was triggered by an unexpected audition video clip from the America’s Got Talent (AGOT for short) tv show.
“Do you do this for a living, or do you have another job?” America’s Got Talent (AGOT) judge asked the contestant Kevin Skinner as he prepared to audition.
“Yeah, I was a chicken catcher for several years.”, Kevin Skinner AGOT contestant responded.
This video from the America’s Got Talent tv show hit an emotional nerve for me. The audience and judges responded to Kevin Skinner’s comments about his job as a chicken catcher with laughter. Even though I had nothing to do with Kevin Skinner and was watching this video remotely, far removed from the event by time and space, I felt a gut punch and my face flush with embarrassment and anger among other emotions by their laughter. Then, when Kevin started playing his guitar and opened his mouth to sing Garth Brooks’ song If Tomorrow Never Comes, the laughter stopped, and the audience and judges were captivated by his voice and talent. They all misjudged this man and laughed at him in the beginning because of his country appearance, southern accent, and his comments about being a chicken catcher. I was happy for Kevin in that moment that he had redemption, but it opened an old personal wound for me in my story that I needed to address.
“What does your father do for a living?” That was a question in school that as a child triggered anxious feelings and embarrassment for me. It embarrasses me and causes a bit of shame to say that today, but it is the truth, and it is part of my story. It is an early part of my story that matters because for many years it may have been something that held me back in other ways.
My father, Clayton Smith, was a chicken catcher in Gainesville Georgia, the self-proclaimed Poultry Capital of the World. It was hard and dirty but honest work that supported our family and made it possible for me to grow up and be who I am today. Daddy worked long hours in the icy cold winters, wet spring, and hot humid summers.
In the AGOT show, one of the judge’s asked Kevin Skinner how many chickens they caught in a day, Kevin responded, “We caught about 60,000 in one-night with six guys. One person caught eight at a time.” I remember Daddy’s hands cramping sometimes as he got older because he would be catching live chickens, eight at a time, four in each hand. I remember him explaining to me how he held eight live, flailing chickens by the feet, and twisted his body to put them into the coops to be loaded onto the truck. Catching eight chickens at a time, 60,000 in one-night with a crew, night after night, year after year for 20+ years. Bending down and standing up and twisting his body for 20+ years in the cold, heat, and humidity, breathing in the dust and ammonia in those chicken houses to support our family. It wasn’t a glamorous job. He wasn’t a doctor or lawyer, businessman, or other profession that my school friends mentioned when asked what their father did for a living. I felt a sense of embarrassment to say, “my father is a chicken catcher.” So, I would usually just say he works in a factory. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth. I was embarrassed to say the full truth of the dirty, menial work my father did because I didn’t want to hear the laughter and judgement from my classmates, similar to how the audience and judges responded to Kevin Skinner in AGOT. But after watching that video of Kevin Skinner on AGOT, I realized that it was my embarrassment and shame that was holding me back from my full story, and that needed to change.
I’m now very proud to say, “I’m the son of a chicken catcher”, and I’m proud of my father for his hard work and sacrifice for our family. He wasn’t a perfect man, none of us are perfect. But he worked hard and did the best he could to provide for us. It matters to my story because it is a part of my past and I learned many of my work ethics and other life lessons from my father. And I honor his sacrifices by the way I live my life to the fullest and embrace my experiences.
His story is a part of my story, and it matters because it is a foundational part of who I am. I am who I am today because of my father’s story. Each of you have your own stories that are a part of who you are. These hero stories are the source of your core resilience, adaptability, and curiosity tool kit instrumental to navigating challenges and transformation in your lives. Therefore, they not only matter, but your hero stories are foundational to who you are today, and all that you can become tomorrow. That’s why your story matters. It matters for you to fulfill your greatest potential and live a purposeful life and thrive. For my story, I proudly say I’m the son of a chicken catcher. Now, What’s Your Story?