”Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” No matter how old I get, I’ll never forget that line from one of my favorite children’s television shows, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood on PBS. It so defined the television show and titular character Mr. Fred Rogers that a documentary about his life and work used the well-known sentence as the film title. I have fond memories of watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, exploring and getting to know the different characters and guests. They all became neighbors and friends to me as a kid. Someone I learned things from because they were different than me. It made me happy to see my neighbors on the show whom I came to see as also my friends.
Back in the early 1970’s when I was growing up in Georgia, it wasn’t mandatory to send kids to kindergarten and pre-kindergarten (pre-k) didn’t exist as far as we knew. So, Mama and Daddy chose to wait and send me to 1st grade as my official start in school. This meant that most of the things now taught in pre-k and kindergarten I learned at home from my parents, other adults, and from children’s television like Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, Sesame Street, and The Electric Company. All shows that I recall fondly. They not only taught me foundational things like colors, shapes, letters, words, reading, numbers, counting etc., they also taught me social skills, including what it meant to be a neighbor and how to interact with others who are different from me. These days, in troubling times for our country and world, I think many folks could benefit from those lessons taught by Mister Rogers and learn how to be better neighbors.
First, what defines the word “neighbor?” As a noun, neighbor may be defined as person nearby (a person living close by), thing nearby (neighboring town), or fellow human being (referring to another person in general with emphasis on our shared humanity). Neighbor can also be a verb meaning situated near something. For example, our offices neighbor each other. The word neighbor also shows up in moral and religious foundational principles as ‘love thy neighbor” for ethical and social harmony. In Christianity, the commandment to ‘love your neighbor as yourself” appears in Old Testament Bible Leviticus 19:1, reemphasized in the New Testament Matthew 22:39 by Jesus. It is highlighted in the Talmudic sages as a core principle of Judaism. And is found throughout other religious and moral, social, and cultural teachings. So, in short, being a good neighbor and asking ‘won’t you be my neighbor’ are very important attributes to a healthy society and culture.
Unfortunately, we seemed to have lost that sense of what being a neighbor means and its importance. When growing up in rural Georgia we always interacted with our neighbors. Block parties, picnics at the lake and fishing together, backyard BBQ, watching movies together, watching the kids play together etc. We celebrated together, cried and mourned together during sad times, and encouraged and supported each other. Even when we had differences of opinions or cultural differences, we still seemed to find a way to connect as neighbors to learn from each other.
Now, decades later, those close neighbor relationships are fractured. Social media, for all the positive benefits, also creates schisms in communities, dividing neighbors. We no longer have the critical face-to-face conversations and interactions with neighbors who are different from us to learn about each other and find the middle ground and what unites us.
I was reminded of what it means to be a neighbor and the challenges we face in our country this past weekend through multiple events. First, we attended a protest rally for “No Kings.” As a Veteran, I swore an oath to the Constitution, not to a King. And as much as I try to keep my posts here apolitical, it is getting increasingly more difficult when some leaders embrace authoritarian tendencies akin to being a king or dictator instead of a democratic leader in our constitutional federal republic (representative democracy) within the U.S. I respect differences of political policies and parties. What I do not except is a leader who threatens to overturn our representative democracy.
In that peaceful protest, I saw a large intergenerational group of concerned citizens, including many families with kids, elders, military veterans etc. exercising our constitutional right to freedom of speech in the form of protest. We were all neighbors.
There were other neighbors though who may disagree with us politically, and some who maybe did agree but chose to attend the Army’s 250th birthday parade in Washington D.C., an anniversary worthy of celebrating when focused on the US Army. They are all our neighbors too, and we aren’t always talking to each other or respecting each other as much as we should be these days. Now, I understand that we won’t always see eye-to-eye with all of our neighbors. And there are neighbors with whom a relationship is untenable for both sides and best served by not engaging for everyone’s safety. However, there are neighbors who differ from each other but can find common ground for a healthier society and nation, but they aren’t talking to each other right now.
These themes appeared again for me this past weekend while watching the new documentary Creede U.S.A., a film about a remote Colorado mining town, population 300, that explores the similar divisions experienced by Americans everywhere, yet at a close up face-to-face, neighbor to neighbor level among miners, ranchers, theater people, and a diverse array of neighbors representing a microcosm of our nation. The film did an excellent job of showing the challenges but also the opportunities to find common ground with mutual respect among neighbors when we get to know each other better and are willing to talk with each other face-to-face and truly listen to understand. I highly recommend looking for this film at an upcoming film festival or streaming platform in the future.
Similar to ithe film, we won’t solve all of our divisions by face-to-face conversations with everyone. Some we will never be able to understand nor build consensus with no matter what we try. However, there are many neighbors with whom we have significant differences, but can overcome and find consensus with face-to-face conversations, respecting each other’s humanity, and actively listening to understand each other.
Finally, another event this weekend reminded me of the importance and value of getting to know your neighbors. Our townhouse community had a block party with a DJ, food, drinks, splash pools and toys and games for the kids, an ice cream cart and more. It was a fun time getting to know many of our neighbors, multigenerational and diverse in every way you can imagine. Retirees, young business professionals, couples, singles, families with little kids, military, different sexual orientations, different genders, , different cultures and ethnicities, and I’m sure different political views. But we all came together as neighbors to get to know each other and celebrate the start of summer together.
My hope is that more communities, small groups, and individuals can do the same and get offline, get outside and meet their neighbors who may be very different and have some face-to-face conversations to better understand and respect each other and build those connections that are so critical for the future of our nation. Let’s start a summer of neighborhood block parties, even if just a party of two neighbors who haven’t met before talking together. Let’s break the barriers down and build connections, community and unity one conversation and one neighborhood block party at a time. And let’s make it more common again to ask a stranger sincerely, won’t you be my neighbor?
As always, I encourage each of you to reflect on your own stories and what it means to you to be a neighbor. What are some positive neighbors and experiences you remember from your past? How are you and your neighbors engaging today? How might you do things differently or increase positive things you are currently doing to have conversations with different neighbors? I’d love to hear your stories and experiences, because your stories always matter. Won’t you be my neighbor?
https://dcdoxfest.com/films/creede-u-s-a/