As we walked into the holiday market passing underneath a decorative entrance sign reading “Naughty or Nice”, I heard a mother say to her young son, “Are you going to be naughty or nice?” To which, he quickly matter of factly replied with a grin, “Naughty!” The young parents looked at each other as the father shrugged, looking at me replying with a hesitating chuckle himself, “At least he’s honest.”
“That’s a good thing,” I replied, continuing into the holiday market thinking our society would be much better off if people were as honest as that kid with whether they were choosing to be naughty or nice. More often than not, people, especially public figures and leaders, say they are doing things to be nice or good, but in reality they are being naughty or evil or wicked. Words matter, as do facts.
On a similar topic, we went to see the new Wicked movie musical over the holiday weekend, entitled “Wicked: For Good.” This movie is the finale of the complicated relationship and friendship between Elphaba, known to most as the Wicked Witch, and her close childhood friend, Glinda, known as Glinda the Good. There again we have Wicked or Good similar to Naughty or Nice in the holiday market sign. Words have power and can have different meanings that change over the years as well as be interpreted differently depending on the person and other factors.
For many like me who grew up celebrating Christmas, as kids we were lectured on whether or not we were on Santa’s naughty or nice list. Which indicated if one was to receive any Christmas gifts that year. But being on the naughty list doesn’t seem to have quite the same effect or meaning as it did back when I was a kid. We all most likely alternated between the naughty and nice list as kids. But that got me thinking of the meaning of those words then and today.
Not to go into a deep complicated analysis of the etymology of the words naughty, nice, wicked, and good, but I was intrigued by their similarities and relationships. Therefore, a bit of explanation is needed. Naughty used to mean the same as wicked. Historically, naughty originally meant “wicked” or “evil” before the milder more common meanings evolved. But now naughty commonly means disobedient or mischievous, especially when used to describe children, implying a playful or minor form of misbehavior. Additionally, it has an informal adult meaning referring to something improper or slightly wrong, or it can be used in a playful and suggestive way. In short, it lost the significance of its original meaning similar to wicked.
Now, even wicked may be defined in both a serious manner, evil or morally wrong (dictionary example: a wicked politician) or playful manner, playfully mischievous (dictionary example: Ben has a wicked smile.) So, by calling someone wicked or naughty, the severity and meaning changes depending on the meaning perceived by the person using the word and the person being referenced. And the same goes for definitions and interpretations of the words nice and good.
If we are honest with ourselves, we all are sometimes naughty and nice as well as wicked and good, in the milder definitions of those words, causing little to no harm for ourselves and others. It is when our behavior or the behavior of others strays into the more serious definitions of naughty and wicked that we may cause harm for ourselves and others. Even when we think we are being nice or good, it could be deceptive and actually causing negative consequences for us and others.
In the movie Wicked: For Good, Elphaba believes she is doing good to help others she cares for but her actions cause unintended harm and are interpreted by some as wicked. Likewise, Glinda believes she is always only doing good, but her actions also lead to unintended consequences that deceive and hurt others and hide the wrong doing of those with malicious intentions. Both Elphaba and Glinda exhibit wicked and good. And when examining their behaviors and unintended negative consequences, they take actions to correct that behavior where possible.
Same for us. When we consider if we are being naughty or nice; wicked or good, we need to consider whether it is the milder or more serious definitions. Next, if actions we or others are taking fit the more serious definitions, look at what harm or negative consequences result from that behavior. Then, we can self correct or demand correction from others, including public figures, to mitigate the harm caused. It’s not being judgmental towards ourselves or others. It is being responsible and honest with ourselves and others, telling the truth, facing facts, and making amends and changes where necessary because truth and facts still matter. May we all seek to be honest with ourselves and others like that little boy I saw at the holiday market who honestly responded when asked by his mother if he was choosing to be naughty or nice.
As always, I encourage you to reflect on your own stories. When you had a choice of being naughty or nice, what did you choose? Were you honest with yourself and others like that young boy I saw at the holiday market? Was it the playful mild definition or the more serious one? If it was the serious definition, were there negative consequences for you or others? If so, how did you respond and make amends if needed and set things right again? How might you respond differently next time? This isn’t about self judgement or over analyzing things. It is about understanding our behavior and that of others, especially public figures and leaders, and the intended or unintended negative consequences and adjustments to behavior where needed.
Again, we all are at times naughty and nice; wicked and good. But the important thing to remember is to be honest with ourselves and others. And if there are negative consequences of that behavior that hurt ourselves or others or block positive movement forward in life to accomplish goals and aspirations, make changes where needed so you and everyone around you can grow and thrive, because as always Your Story Matters.
