Sometimes in life, when we encounter difficult times or even in everyday situations, we forget previous lessons and revert back to learned behavior and prior actions that we know don’t work or will possibly result in getting burnt or feeling some pain. Yet, we find ourselves on auto pilot repeating those same actions and getting the same negative result. I’m reminded of that these days when thinking about some professional and personal challenges I’ve been facing with potential job layoffs, job search, career growth, health journey challenges, and other professional and personal goals.
There are times when I take actions or inactions that I know from past experience will result in poor or negative results, but I do them anyway on autopilot. The lesson for me is to look at how I can become more mindful and aware when I’m either triggered or mindlessly engage in the action or behavior that I know is the wrong thing to do. If I can become aware of the situation before I take the incorrect action, then in that moment, I can remind myself of the life lessons when I took the action before and stop myself from doing it again. Freeing myself to choose better actions that lead to the positive outcomes I desire, whether that is a personal or professional goal. The earliest memory that comes to mind related to these life lessons was in my Aunt Sue Smith’s garden.
I can feel the hot sultry heat of the Georgia summer sun on the back of my neck as I bent down in Aunt Sue’s garden picking vegetables with her. She instructed me that when I picked the peppers without gloves, to be careful and not wipe my face or mouth with my bare hands. I remember the first time I picked peppers for her, and everything was going fine until I started to sweat in the hot Georgia sun. First, I used the back of my bare hand to wipe the sweat from my face and lips. Then, without thinking, I licked my dry chapped lips. Before I knew it, my mouth was on fire! Aunt Sue laughed, but then took me inside for a cool drink of milk to sooth my burning lips and tongue because the casein protein in milk can help neutralize the capsaicin in the peppers. She explained again, this is why she told me not to wipe my face or mouth with my bare hands while picking the peppers. It was a lesson I learned the hard way or hot way that day. And one that I didn’t repeat when picking peppers again with her. I took other precautions next time, like wearing gloves when handling the peppers, and not touching my face unless I had removed the gloves or washed my hands thoroughly first, to avoid transferring the capsaicin from the peppers to sensitive areas of my face. When the urge to take the incorrect actions again came up, wiping my face with hands exposed to the peppers, I reminded myself of the negative results before, and paused, then took an alternative action.
Thinking about those lessons from the garden with Aunt Sue and picking peppers, I’m reminded of how I need to apply those same approaches to other parts of my adult life. When I know the actions I’m about to take are going to burn and lead to negative results, choosing other actions instead may lead to the positive outcomes I desire while working toward my goals. That doesn’t mean that we never get distracted by the hot summer sun, and for a moment forget ourselves and wipe the proverbial sweat from our mouth, lick our lips absentmindedly, then feel the unmistakable burn of the wrong action. It will still happen from time to time. However, our goal should be to become more self-aware and mindful of those moments so that more often than not, we can catch ourselves early on to mindfully choose a different action that instead of leading to burning lips, may instead lead to our lips parting in a smile of joy and celebration as we reach our goals and thrive. So, go pick those peppers in life, but remember to bring those gloves and choose the right actions that lead to positive outcomes without any burns.
As always, I encourage you to reflect on your own stories for when you took actions you know are wrong for you, and how do you catch yourself early enough in the future to prevent the same negative results you know will happen. As I said, we won’t prevent ourselves from doing it every time. But the goal is to learn how to recognize those moments before we take the negative actions that may have become an auto reaction and make more positive action choices that lead to the positive outcomes we desire, moving us closer to our goals. Look at your own stories for lessons and strategies that help you choose the right actions, because as always, Your Story Matters.
