How many of you, when trying something new for the first time, feel a sense of embarrassment or disappointment when you do not perform perfectly? We all know that trying something new takes time to perfect and we may get things wrong the first time, or fall down, fail a bit. And we are familiar with the phrase “practice makes perfect.” However, that does not stop some of us from feeling a bit of embarrassment and self-disappointment. That is definitely true for me personally, and I can remember the first time I encountered this experience.
As a young boy growing up in rural Georgia, I remember one spring day when my mama and daddy decided it was time for me to learn how to ride a bicycle without the training wheels. They bought me a new bike, and mama and an older neighborhood girl took me outside one day to teach me how to ride. I started off ok, but then lost my balance and tumbled to the ground. It was not a serious fall, as I hadn’t been going that fast, only a skinned elbow and knee. However, I felt the flush of embarrassment come over me and the disappointment that I couldn’t ride the bike perfectly the first time. Out of my embarrassment and frustration, I picked up my bike and yelled “I can’t do it!” Then, I slammed my new bike down, breaking off all of the reflectors. My mama, who didn’t have a lot of patience, a trait I also unfortunately inherited, sighed, and stopped the lesson for the day.
Fortunately for mama and me, my older cousin Mike who visited with us many times that spring and summer had more patience, as some would say, “the patience of Job from the Bible.” And Mike took time that summer to not only teach me how to ride the bike, but the valuable lesson that falling down was part of the learning process, and it was ok to fall down as long as I got back up on the bike and kept trying to learn from my mistakes and do better each time. Flash forward to now as an adult, this personal story has relevance for me and for all of us with learning new things in our present personal and professional lives.
In today’s world, constant transformation is a reality both personally and professionally. Technologies we use today may very well be obsolete within five years. Our current society requires people to develop a growth mindset. A growth mindset is defined as “believing that your abilities, talents, and intelligence can be molded and improved with work.” It also usually accompanies the phrase ‘developing a culture of continuous learning.” To thrive both personally and professionally in our world of constant transformation, embracing a growth mindset and continuous learning are valuable.
However, for many of us, including myself, we forget those lost lessons of childhood including, “falling down is part of the learning process.” We are hard on ourselves and the teams we lead, demanding perfection and have low tolerance for any failure. If we want ourselves and our teams to be resilient and adaptive to transformation, develop a growth mindset, and a culture of continuous learning, embracing the concept of failing forward is a critical component. We need to allow ourselves and our teams the grace and safe space to try new things, fall down, make mistakes in a safe environment, learn from those mistakes. and continue to improve. Now, going back to that childhood story of mine with the bike.
I am thankful to my very patient cousin Mike for teaching me how to ride my bike that summer, and for teaching me the valuable life lesson that falling down is part of the learning process. If I had not embraced that concept and learned to ride the bike, I can’t imagine how different my life would be today. As I have shared in other stories, that bike became a symbol of my independence, adventure, resilience and adaptability later in my teen years. It is a lesson that I sometimes forget in adulthood and often need to remind myself of sometimes.
Even famous people have experienced and embraced the lesson that falling down and failing is part of the learning process. I am reminded of quotes from inventor Thomas Edison. When asked by a reporter how it felt to fail 1000 times when trying to invent the incandescent light bulb, Edison responded, “I didn’t fail 1000 times. The lightbulb was an invention with 1000 steps.”
Also, for the Wright Brothers, it took several flight attempts, crashes, rework, and numerous manual trips hauling their glider up the giant sand dunes of the North Carolina Outer Banks before they finally achieved one of the first flights with a powered, sustained, and controlled airplane.
For both the Wright Brothers and Thomas Edison, failure and falling down was a significant part of their learning and innovative process.
I believe each of you have your own story of when you discovered that falling down is part of the learning process. That it is ok to fail or fall down sometimes as long as you get back up, learn from mistakes, and keep going to improve and continue learning.
Remember that lesson from your own story the next time you may feel a bit of embarrassment or frustration and disappointment with yourself in the present day when trying something new or leading a team that is trying new things. And allow grace for yourself and your team to fail and fall down sometimes, because we all know it is part of the process of learning.