One of the things I remember most vividly with happiness from my childhood was all of the family and friends around. My Mama and Daddy only had three kids, my sister, younger brother who sadly died during childbirth, and me. But Mama and Daddy both came from larger families. Mama was one of five siblings and Daddy was one of eleven siblings. There were many uncles, aunts, grandparents, great uncles and aunts, and dozens of cousins. Memories of holidays, fishing and swimming together at the lake and in the mountains, picnics, parties, and celebrations with laughter, smiles, hugs, storytelling, and more fill my memories and heart.
At the same time, another part of having a large multi-generational family and circle of family friends are the sad moments in grieving when someone dies and honoring their lives at funerals. With such a large family, I remember from an early age going to funerals and cemeteries to pay our respects to those who died and taking flowers. The earliest photos of me at a funeral, I don’t even remember because I was too young. I was one year old when my younger brother died. Mama and Daddy and my aunts showed me those pictures from the funeral with all the flowers and told me about my younger brother. I’m sure there were other family funerals after my brother’s that I don’t remember, but the first I remember vividly was my Granny Smith’s funeral in 1977. I remember all the flowers, tears, sadness, and hundreds of family members and friends gathered at the funeral home and cemetery. But I also remember how my Daddy’s family at the repast celebrated my Granny Smith and their family by telling stories, bringing tears as well as laughter and celebration of her life. It was my first experience of one of my favorite emotions, laughter through tears, also immortalized by Dolly Parton in a line from the movie Steel Magnolias.
There were many other funerals over my childhood where we brought flowers for the deceased. And now, whenever I go to my hometown in Georgia, I stop by my parents gravesite at the cemetery to take flowers. But I’m reminded today of a song I heard a few years ago by one of my favorite country singers, Tanya Tucker, ‘Bring My Flowers Now,” which includes the line “Bring flowers now while I’m living.” It reminded me of the importance to give flowers now and not wait until it is too late. That can mean literal flowers to those loved ones, friends, family, and chosen family. It can also be figurative where the flowers represent actions, giving time now to those who are still with us. And it also represents giving things to ourselves now and not delaying. Give flowers to yourself now. Don’t hesitate. Do those things that bring you joy and happiness now. For life is waiting for you now. Go out and live it to the fullest.
As always, I encourage you to reflect on your stories for how and when you’ve given flowers (literal or figurative in terms of time) to those you love and care for and to yourself. Remember the feeling and response once you gave those flowers or time to others and to yourself? How did they respond? How did you respond and feel when you did those things for yourself? How did your mood/emotions change? How did it impact your motivation to continue striving towards your goals (personal and professional)? What are ways you can give flowers and time to others and yourself now? How might that help you in your current challenges? Don’t wait until it is too late to bring flowers to others and give flowers (literal and metaphorical) to yourself. You deserve it, and your spirit and heart will rejoice and be renewed, and as always, Your Story Matters.
