Recently I was watching a video of a message by Senior Pastor, Dr. John Robbins from Pulaski Heights United Methodist Church (UMC) in response to changes in the UMC Book of Discipline to remove language that declares homosexuality as being incompatible with Christian teachings. I highly recommend watching it (linked at the bottom of this article), regardless of your political, spiritual, or religious positions. It is a very insightful and powerful message. One of the comments Dr. Robbins made was “always err on the side of grace.” That is especially true as we come together from different beliefs, backgrounds, and opinions as well as face challenges in our own personal and professional journey.
This message of erring on the side of grace, or choosing grace, got me to thinking about the many definitions of grace, both spiritual and secular, and what it means to choose grace in how we respond to others as well as how we show ourselves grace. A few of the definitions of grace include:
· A smooth and pleasing way of moving, or a polite and thoughtful way of behaving.
· A divinely given talent or blessing, an unmerited favor.
· An extended period granted as a special favor allowed for payment of a sum due
· A short prayer of thanks said before or after a meal.
Grace appears in many different spiritual/religious and secular forms. The word for grace in Urdu is Dilkashi, including synonyms such as blessing, adorn, and thanksgiving. In Hinduism the word is kripa and is considered the ultimate key required for spiritual self-realization. Even Buddhism that emphasizes self-discipline and personal effort on the path to enlightenment contains elements similar to grace. For example, in Jōdo Shinshū (Pure Land Buddhism) founded by Japanese monk Shinran, the path for spiritual advancement is letting go of only Jiriki (self-power) and, by faith (shinjin) embracing the Tariki (other power) of a higher being with infinite compassion. Judaism defines grace as an attribute of God and his chesed (loving-kindness and mercy) while Western Christianity simply defines grace as the free and unmerited favor of God.
And finally, but equally as important and valuable as the definitions of grace in any spiritual or religious context, a secular definition of grace for yourself and others is the act of being kind and forgiving, even when mistakes are made, acknowledging imperfections, and accepting and respecting our differences with kindness and understanding. Recognizing and accepting that we are all imperfect and that it is ok to make mistakes. In other words, practicing compassion with understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness, even when it may not be merited.
This is not an easy thing to do, no doubt. It doesn’t mean that we don’t hold ourselves and others accountable when mistakes are made or that we ignore mistakes and don’t do the work needed through self-power to learn, improve, and grow. But what it does mean is that we approach our mistakes and differences within ourselves as well as outwardly towards others with a sense of grace, however that word fits best for you.
Now, I will share a story from my childhood here related to a simple definition of the word grace that I think is relevant to how we choose or don’t choose grace for ourselves and others. It is the simple definition of grace as a short prayer said before a meal, and whenever I hear the word grace it takes me back to my childhood in Georgia.
As a young kid in the early 1970’s growing up in rural Georgia I often spent time with my Aunt Carolyn and Uncle Ralph and my cousins. I always loved visiting because Aunt Carolyn had an enormous collection of family photos displayed all around her home, which to my young eyes was like a history museum with windows to stories of the past. Uncle Ralph was a Baptist preacher, and as we would all sit down to the supper table, he would ask everyone to bow their heads while he said grace. But I can clearly remember, as a very young child, every time Uncle Ralph said grace, I would slide out of my chair and duck underneath the table as if hiding from everyone or hiding from the grace. Once the grace was over, I’d pop back up in my chair and we’d begin eating supper. Nobody ever said anything if they noticed, but it is a memory that stuck with me to this day.
I always remember that as a silly little story about my childish behavior, but as an adult I wonder, what does it mean that I was hiding from grace? How might I be hiding from grace for myself or hiding from grace towards others in my adult life? That could be in a spiritual and/or secular sense as well. Showing ourselves grace in our professional and personal life journey is something that’s very important and can have a significant impact on our attitude which defines our altitude, or how high and how far we can go in life. Whatever your definition of grace may be, how might you be hiding from grace for yourself or others? How is hiding from it impacting your professional or personal life? What would it look like if you chose grace for yourself and for others in your journey? I encourage you to look at your own story, definition of grace, and how it shows up or doesn’t show up for you. Think about what choosing grace would do for your story? And as always, remember Your Story Matters.
