Like many of you I’m sure, I have lots of self-help books on my bookshelves at home. Some I haven’t read in years but keep ‘just in case.” Some I started but never fully read for various reasons but keep on the shelf because “I’ll get around to finishing it someday.” Notice a pattern here? That topic needs its own blog post to discuss later to resolve it. 😊 And finally, there are a select few self-help type books that I’ve had for years and go back to repeatedly. One such book, that I most likely have mentioned before in prior blog posts, is Patti’s Pearls: Lessons in Living Genuinely, Joyfully, and Generously, written by Patti LaBelle and Laura Randolph Lancaster. I received it as a gift from a friend 24 years ago and reread sections of it often, using it as a reference book throughout my life. I’m not sure if it is still in print or not, but if you can find a new or even a gently pre-owned copy, I recommend it. I thought of this book again recently while enjoying an Autumn Day in New York walking through Central Park. Some friends and I walked by the Conservatory Water, better known as the Model Boat Pond. It is a popular spot for sailing miniature sailboats located on the east side of Central Park between East 72nd and East 75th streets. Watching the kids and adults alike maneuvering the miniature sailboats across the pond, adjusting to the wind speed and direction, reminded me of a specific advice section of the Patti’s Pearls book entitled “Don’t try to change the wind, change the sails.” In the section, like others in the book, Patti provides reflection on her own life struggles, adversities, and how she made it through, along with advice of her friends and family, that she shares with readers. She also includes a related quote from author Toni Morrison that I love, “If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.” Excellent advice that simple model boats reminded me of during a walk in the park.
Again, I went back to this book mentally while at the Model Boat Pond and thinking about my own current life challenges, personally and professionally, and the challenges or barriers to accomplishing goals. I also thought about this advice in context of working with some of my coaching clients who feel stuck with trying to find a new job after RIFs/layoffs or navigating other career and life challenges. The truth is that sometimes things in life are out of our control. The waves, currents, and winds are moving in a particular direction, and trying to fight against them to go in an opposite direction is futile. Sometimes, our sails may be set for a particular destination, but at the time we are fighting against the forces of nature that are flowing in another direction. We have a choice. We can continue sailing against the power of nature, exhausting ourselves and not making much progress. Or we can adjust our sails, or using the nautical term trim the sails, and surrender to the wind, waves, and currents and ride them, saving our energy for another day. Adjusting our strategy and goals where and when necessary, so that we may achieve them, reach our desired destination, and thrive.
Sometimes, that destination (literal or figurative) in our personal and professional lives may be different than what we initially defined at the outset. But that doesn’t mean it is a wrong or a bad destination. Perhaps by surrendering to the winds and waves, we may discover new destinations that we never dreamed of, but that are even better than the ones we initially set out to reach. Or sometimes adjusting the sails and riding the waves, currents, and wind may allow ourselves time to rest and recover our energy so that when the seas of life are calm, we can once again set our sails for the destinations most important to us. It isn’t about giving up on your personal or professional destinations and just letting the winds and waves take you anywhere. It is about being strategic and adjusting your sails so that you have the energy to reach your destination and don’t get tired before fighting against nature. Also, it is about being open to discovering new destinations that you never dreamed of that the direction of the winds and waves may take you. Either way, when you feel as if you are battling against the forces of nature and not making any progress in life, my suggestion is to step back and consider how adjusting your sails and riding the waves, currents, and winds may serve you better in reaching destinations where you may thrive.
As always, I encourage you to reflect on what adjusting your sails means for you personally and professionally. Where have you done this in the past with your goals and challenges? What worked and didn’t work for you when adjusting your sails? What would you do differently in the future with the concept of adjusting your sails? We are all explorers in our lives and in this world. Be curious and open to new ideas, strategies, destinations and more that the powers of nature may unveil for you. And go out and enjoy your adventures, adjusting, or trimming, your sails to ride the waves and winds so that you may thrive, because as always, your story matters.
